Secrets
by OlivJuice
Summary: JoshuaXNeku oneshot. After an uneventful day of shopping around Shibuya with Joshua and Shiki, Neku and Joshua return to their apartment. A mistake of Neku's causes the one secret he didn't want to get out to come to Joshua's attention. How will they work it out? T for strong language and self-harm.


Just a little fanfic I wrote for this 30-Day Writing Challenge thing. The second day was to write a fanfiction, so... yeah. :3

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After a long day of being dragged around by Joshua and Shiki through the stores of Shibuya, I was relieved to be standing under a hot shower. They were too much sometimes...

I sighed once my hair was clean and combed. It never laid down all the way, no matter what I did. It always stayed in the same anti-gravitational style. My hair seemed to have a mind of it's own sometimes...

Once I was done, I yanked the curtain back to step out. I tied a towel around my waist, using a different one to squeeze the water from my orange locks. I heard the door opening, not able to tell Joshua not to come in before he'd poked his head inside. He grinned at me, but that was before he noticed my wrists. My wristbands were off... Crap.

"Neku... What are those?" he trailed off in slight horror, gesturing to the faded pink lines on my wrists, a few looking more fresh.

"None of your business." I muttered, pulling my arms in to my sides. "Now get out, pervert." I pushed on the door to get him out. I wasn't dealing with him right now, and I needed to get dressed anyway.

Well, that meant the secret was out. He didn't know I cut. I'd begun when the Games had started. I couldn't deal with the confusion and fear that came with being a Player, so I'd resorted to cutting. Now, I only did it on occasion out of habit. The scars would probably stay there for the rest of my life, though.

Once I was ready to face a long lecture from Josh about self-harm, I pushed through the white painted door. He was sitting out on the couch, looking peeved, worried and... hurt? I'd never seen that expression on him... I walked around the back of the couch and plopped down next to him, staring forward awkwardly and waiting for him to say something.

"Why would you even think of doing that?" he muttered, gritting his teeth.

"You wouldn't understand, Josh. It helped distract me from all the shit I was going through in the Games. It's like... my medicine, I guess." I struggled to explain, and he only seemed more disgusted with me. Fine, maybe he'd leave me alone...

"You could've died." he continued, clenching his fists.

"Not really. I was already dead." I corrected, though he probably meant the more recent cuts. I was careful to avoid the green lines underneath the skin, but he was right. I could've hit one easily and bled to death. It wouldn't matter...

"It goes without saying that I'm not letting you do that anymore." he murmured. That was it for me. I stood from the couch, my hands balled into fists.

"It's none of your business what I choose to do! You're not my mom, so you have no right to suggest you can make me do _anything_." I hissed with as much venom as I could muster. He was seriously starting to piss me off.

"Neku, I-" he started, but I cut him off.

"You can't tell me what to do. You may be Composer, but that doesn't make you the boss of me." I finished, walking towards the door and going out into the hall. We shared our apartment, so I couldn't make him leave.

I only got halfway to the stairs before I felt five long fingers catch my arm. I whipped around and shoved him off of me.

"Just let me go! I wanna be alone!" I shouted, not caring if others heard me.

"Neku, wait. I didn't mean it like that. Stop jumping to conclusions and-" he stopped when I stormed off again, and pinned me to the wall with one arm on either side of me. "-listen to me." he finished. I wanted to escape, but I knew he was stronger than me.

"I'm worried about you. And yes, I'm going to make you stop. I don't care what you say, I'm not letting you do that anymore. Call me what you want, hit me, but I won't let you hurt yourself." he said forcefully.

"I don't want you to care about me. I _want_ you to leave me alone." I pushed at his arms futilely. Even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were lies.

"Let me-" I started to argue halfheartedly before I felt lips on mine. Despite how I'd been trying to get him away a moment ago, I willingly kissed back. That only encouraged him. His tongue slipped between my lips, deepening the kiss. It was obvious who was dominating here, but I really didn't care.

After a few seconds, he pulled away despite my small groan of protest. He laughed at that.

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone." he teased, poking my nose. I just glared at him. I wasn't a girl...

"Despite all the crap you've put me through... I love you, Neku." he said blatantly, pulling a strand of hair out of his eyes with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered, though my cheeks tinted pink. I walked back to the room with my arms crossed. He pissed me off constantly, but like he'd said, despite all the crap he put me through... I did love him.

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I appreciate any feedback you have to give~ Thanks for reading. :)


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